I bless the rains down in Africa

Somewhere between Jackson, Missouri and the mighty Mississippi river there is a small farm that owns exotic animals. They buy and sell them as pets. They also rent camels for parties and they have recently opened a petting zoo where visitors can pay their daily wage and feed them a small sack of feed. Just down the road lives my eighty four year old grandmother.

She passes the farm each morning on her way to work. It really is a beautiful place; sometimes you might catch a glimpse of a gazelle or mule deer eating dewy grass. Over the past few days, the drive in to work has been even more exciting for her as she has caught a glimpse of a new guest to the farm, a giraffe, who is basking in the morning sun. “It is just so beautiful to see him standing there”, she tells me as we talk over the previous days events, “it reminds me of my time in Africa”. My grandmother visited Malawi on a mission trip within the last ten years, and she often talks about her experience. I can honestly say that anytime I see a giraffe, my mind immediately drifts to thoughts of the African plain. How awesome it would be to catch a view of a giraffe in the wild.... it is only slightly less awesome to see one down the road from your home.

My mother, who also works at our family business, chimed in, “Are you talking about the new giraffe by your house? You know that is just a statue.” Apparently, the petting zoo has purchased a rather large giraffe statue for some reason, and that is what my grandmother had been seeing the last few mornings as she drove in to work. She had not realized it was a statue she was seeing. “I was just amazed that each day he was standing in the same place”, she admitted, after realizing her mistake. We all had a good laugh about it.

I share this story simply for the fact that we are all like my grandmother. Everyone is looking for some sort of awesomeness to add to their daily life, to make it more beautiful. The Justin Osborne All America Wifflefest may be just the thing you are looking for. A one day, coed, double elimination wiffleball tournament which benefits children with down syndrome could be your chance to do just that.

Driving Directions to Wifflefest

Driving Directions to Fruitland Community Church

Fruitland Community Church 
6040 US HWY-61 
Jackson, MO 63755

Wifflefest Rules of Play

General Rules for Wifflefest


1. No Alcohol, Drugs, or Weapons allowed at Wifflefest

2. No Foul or Abusive language

3. Questionable calls or disputes will be handled between the two teams involved



Rules of Play for Wifflefest

All games will be 30 minutes in length. A game that is tied at the end of 30 minutes will be allowed to start an additional inning. Scorekeepers on each field will keep the time and score. If there is still time on the clock, another inning will start, allowing the home team to bat if they are behind in score.

1. Teams will be co-ed consisting of five or more players.

2. If both teams have six players, all of them will be allowed on the field at the same time. If not, only five players will be allowed.

3. All players will be allowed to bat in normal batting order.

4. Five players will be allowed on the field, with at least two girls on the field at all times. More than five players are allowed on the field if the other team has the same amount of people.

5. Fielding team must provide a pitcher, catcher and three other fielders.

6. All games will be either: Five full innings or 30 minutes in length. The home to is allowed to bat last.

7. Home team is team selected by coin toss at scorers table before game.

8. Pitcher must not throw “to hard” while pitching. If batter complains that pitcher is to fast, they must throw ball slower. (Do not be afraid to ask them to slow it down)

9. If pitched ball hits strike zone (a box) it will be called strike.

10. Four balls constitute a walk.

11. No running the bases. (We walk bases to keep track of where all the runners are)

12. Single is ball hit past white “single line”.

13. Double is ball hit past outfielder.

14. Triple is ball hit off of fence.

15. Home run is over the fence .

16. Any ball hitting a tree is considered in play until the ball lands (landing fair would be fair/ foul would be foul) where the ball lands is what will count. Any ball hit that goes over the fence and hits a tree, will be counted as a home run, even if the ball comes back into the field of play.

17. Any ball hitting tree above fence is a home run. Any ball hitting a tree that is the fence, is considered a triple (if hitting it in the air).

18. No run rule in effect.

19. Three outs per side during half inning. An out is described below:

a.) Strikeout

b.) Fly out

c.) Foul ball caught in air

d.) Groundout - Player fielding the ball cleanly before crossing the white single line

20. Only official white wiffleball and yellow wiffleball will be used. No tape or sand allowed

21. Teams must rotate pitchers every inning, allowing everyone on their team a chance to pitch. Every team member who is 12 years old and over must pitch to at least four batters to constitute a "chance" at pitching. If a team member is not 12 years old, they do not have to pitch.

22. Pitcher must stand on designated pitcher’s mound, no moving in.

23. a) Errors will be determined by opposing team.

b) If ball is bobbled then caught while still in the air, it will be considered a “catch”.

c) If ball is bobbled and then dropped, it will be considered an error.

d) If ball is to an outfielder on the ground and they commit an error, the batter will be allowed another base.

24) All questionable calls will be worked out by the teams involved, although the announcer may help decide the call if an agreement can’t be reached.

25) While batting, one person on a team can use the BIG RED BAT for one at-bat per game, per team. The at-bat starts when the first pitch is thrown, and the batter can’t switch after the pitch is thrown.

26) While fielding, the fielding team can place Ozzie Smith at any position in the field to help them field. If a batted ball hits Ozzie Smith on the fly, the batter is out. If a batted ball hits Ozzie Smith after bouncing, but in front of the white single line, the batter is out. If a batted ball hits Ozzie Smith after bouncing, but behind the single line, the batter will be awarded a single or double, depending on the position of Ozzie Smith.

27) Any foul that goes above the catcher's head and is caught by any spectator will be considered an out. (Extra players on the opposing team are not allowed to catch foul balls).   

It's About Time

I'm feeling fresh. My body is rejuevenated. I am pumped up. Thank you Lebron James. You, with your words of inspiration during a pre-game team huddle, have encouraged me to seize the moment and announce the date of the:

Justin Osborne All American Wifflefest 8

The year our amazing event will be held on Saturday, October 12, 2013

Registration for this event will open in early August.

Questions/Comments: Email me - yellowbatwhiteball@hotmail.com

Wifflefest 7 Crowns New Champion

Ho Hum. Another Justin Osborne All American Wifflefest is in the books. Held on a beautiful, sunny, seventy five degree day, with not a cloud in the sky, participants gathered for the seventh annual double elimination coed wiffleball tournament. Sure the crowd of about one hundred gathered as usual for the fun time as batters tried their luck at hitting the elusive ball. Complimentary ballpark snacks and a buffet lunch were provided for attendees and their children. As usual a hayride, bounce house, canoe rides and hiking trails all on a lovely farm setting were enjoyed throughout the day. It was business as usual at the Martin Tree Farm near Gordonville, MO.
What was not business as usual was how the tournament played out. New this year to Wifflefest, the One Hit Wonders made short work of the field with a perfect (4-0) record. Being led by Corey “Ritz Cracker” Campbell and the enthusiasm of prior cheerleader Abbi Karcher, the Wonders were crowned Wifflefest champions, by defeating a Karie Stroder-less Sean’s Sluggers team in the finals, by a score of 9-0.

“It was a great tournament, a fun day, but just a really unexciting ending - unless you were a One Hit Wonder,” stated Wiffelefest tournament director and creator, Justin Osbone. With 10 teams battling it out for the title on homemade wiffleball fields, the pressure to succeed really got to some players, at least until they started playing. “I was going to dive for a ball, but didn’t want to hit a tree”, said first year player Travis Strand of the Bomb Squad, who played dressed as a Viking. The in-game announcers reminded him that pine trees in the forest field are considered “soft wood”, but he was unwilling sacrifice his body as he did earlier in the day, by running through the outfield fence. His effort, along with his ability to play songs from his Iphone over the sound system as were people batting, have him on the short list for Wifflefest Hall of Fame honors next year.

Other teams competing in the tournament but not taking home the coveted golden wiffleballs were:

The Unfortunates – who haven’t found out if they won or lost

The Bomb Squad – probably regretting the choice of rolling a pack-n-play on a gravel road

Sean's Sluggers - had a great run without namesake Sean, before superstar Josh Miller ran out of gas in the finals

The Naturals – without India Clippard available, they were unable to recapture Wiffefest 6 glory

The Thundercats – probably still complaining about the “if a ball hits a tree" rule

AV Rocks – lack of sleep due to poor lodging choice combined with multiple children too much to overcome

Las Tortugas – good, but not good enough

Kryptonite – the absence of a dog in a superman cape this year may have been their undoing

Two time defending champion The River Monsters – shock and awe no longer applicable

Amy Newstead from Ironton, MO and an AV Rocks team member was inducted into the Wifflefest Hall of Fame for attending after being vomited on by her child at last year’s Wifflefest. Also inducted into the Hall of Fame was John Bollinger of Jackson, MO, member of team Kryptonite, who lead his team into the semifinals of Wifflefest 6 by being the “Man who threw Underhand”.

All participants were encouraged to give money to Reece’s Rainbow, an international adoption agency for children with Downs Syndrome. The event was sponsored by Osborne Office Equipment and Mid America Hotels/Burger King.